It is not easy living with a person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol. Regardless of how much people love each other, no marriage can survive the deep wedges drug abuse drive into the family. Even after the addict seeks help for addiction, those issues must be addressed if you are going to be able to stop negative patterns and allow the marriage to live.
Fear and Destruction of Trust
The family of an addict lives in constant fear of what will happen next. Spouses and children are afraid to have visitors, in fear that the addict will come home wasted in front of their guests. They are afraid to go out with the addict because it is embarrassing to see them high in public and if one runs into a co-worker, employer, or teacher, it is the family member who will be mortified.
This leads to isolation. Families will stay home together rather than risk their addict coming out with them or someone stopping by unexpectedly. Soon this becomes an obsession. Other members of the family feel very defensive of their addicted spouse or parent, and they take great efforts in protecting them and their secret.
Trust and Unreliability
Most American’s live in a 2-income home. They share the load and the responsibility of teaching and protecting the children. However, the spouse of an addict soon feels the weight of the world is on their shoulders. Not only does he/she have to monitor and protect them, but they also cannot trust an addict to do everyday things.
The addict cannot take his or her turn in picking up the children from school or transporting them to events. Children will sometimes avoid going out for football, soccer, or dance because they are afraid their addict parent will ruin the events for them and embarrass them in front of their teammates. The non-addict takes on all the addict’s responsibilities to keep everyone secure.
The financial costs of living with an addict are staggering. An addict must have their drug, and if they cannot have their drug of choice, they will get the next best thing to hold them over until they get the drug of choice. An addict will get his or her fix at any cost. They will lie and hide money. They will “lose” money. There will be overdrawn bank accounts and missing mortgage payments. If you manage to get a handle on access to the money, items of value will come up missing from the home.
The addict never thinks he is too high to drive. There are tickets to pay, court costs, and often lawsuits. If they spend time in jail, there are expenses that come with that, and of course, there are lost wages while they are away.
The cost of rehab can easily reach a few thousand dollars. Many times, it takes more than one stay in rehab to fight addiction and the common relapse. There is also the cost of taking care of your own health while living in this high-pressure environment.
An addict in the family controls the lifestyle of every member of the family. It changes the way we learn to love others, and these issues are often the root of issues in other relationships.
Speak to a drug crimes attorney to learn more.