Living with someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol is incredibly challenging. No matter how much love exists between two people, drug abuse can create deep divisions in a family. Even after an addict seeks help, these issues must be addressed to break negative patterns and allow the relationship to heal and thrive.
The Erosion of Trust and Rise of Fear
Addiction creates an atmosphere of constant fear. Family members, including spouses and children, live with the anxiety of not knowing what will happen next. They may be afraid to have visitors over, fearing the addict will come home under the influence and cause a scene. Similarly, going out in public with the addict can be embarrassing, especially if a co-worker, employer, or teacher sees them intoxicated.
This constant fear often leads to social isolation. Families may choose to stay home rather than risk a public embarrassment. This protective behavior can become an obsession, as family members feel a strong need to defend their addicted loved one and protect their secret.
The Burden of Unreliability
In most two-income households, responsibilities like childcare are shared. However, the spouse of an addict often feels the entire weight of the world on their shoulders. They not only have to monitor and protect the addict, but they also can’t trust them with everyday responsibilities.
For example, an addict may not be reliable enough to pick up children from school or take them to extracurricular activities. Children may even avoid participating in sports or other events out of fear that their addicted parent will ruin the experience for them. The non-addicted partner ends up taking on all of the addict’s responsibilities to ensure the family’s security and well-being.
Staggering Financial Consequences
The financial toll of living with an addict is immense. An addict’s primary focus is always on getting their drug of choice. They will lie, hide money, and “lose” funds to support their habit. This can lead to overdrawn bank accounts and missed mortgage payments. If you manage to control access to money, valuable items may start to disappear from the home.
Beyond the cost of the drugs themselves, legal fees are a major issue. Addicts often drive under the influence, which can result in costly tickets, court fees, and even lawsuits. Time spent in jail comes with its own expenses and, of course, lost wages.
The cost of rehabilitation is also a significant factor, often reaching thousands of dollars per stay. Many times, it takes more than one trip to rehab to combat addiction and the common occurrence of relapse. Additionally, the non-addicted partner may incur health costs due to the immense stress of living in such a high-pressure environment.
Ultimately, addiction in a family controls the lifestyle of every member. It can fundamentally change how we learn to love and form relationships, and these issues often become the root of problems in other relationships later in life.
If you are dealing with a situation involving drug-related legal issues, it is important to speak with a drug crimes attorney.
